New Year, Here I am

Wow, it's been so long since I posted on the blog that I have forgotten what font I typically use...

I remain in awe of all the homeschooling bloggers who were able to keep up with Jen's blog-a-day-for-a-whole-week challenge. Not around here, that's for sure. I think the chronically ill, pregnant at 45, homeschooling mother version should be blog once-a-month for 7 months straight! Now, that would be a challenge I might meet.

Since I posted last time at the beginning on December, I had to abandon the Three Kings Link-Up since I was too sick to set them up each night, and the kids were too sick to care. I had to cancel our typical Christmas Eve Fondue Dinner, and instead some kind friends invited us over for dinner, and after 2 hours we had gotten our fill of Christmas cheer and were ready to come on home. My parents and brother and his family came over for dinner on Christmas Day, and despite having planned an elaborate and traditional dinner we had to settle for Honey Baked Ham and deli-ordered Caneloni. Which was delicious, but it wasn't what I had aspired to certainly.

I felt a little better on New Year's Eve, so I made the Fondue that night and also created a Scavenger Hunt for the kids which they enjoyed.  By mid-January I was officially over my several week long Sinus Infection and I was jumping for joy and full of energy. I took advantage of the energy and did things that I don't normally do with the kids, like take them to the movies by myself, or check out a new park. I was starting to feel like a normal Mom for a bit. I was on fire and started volunteering to do a few things here and there, and was finally even keeping up with paperwork and taxes around here.

On February 11th I had my most recent Remicade infusion, just hours later my mother in law died in the early morning hours of February 12th while my husband was on a plane on his way back from India, we slept through Valentine's Day and my husband's birthday on the 19th, so it came as no surprise that within a week the entire family was sick again (some worse than others) and lo and behold! I have another sinus infection. Everyone else is better already, just that nagging cough left in a few of them, but here I am, still sick and tired.

I have been very depressed about it for the last 10 days. I had so many big plans for Lent and Easter, inaugurating our finally finished pool this spring, and, of course, helping my husband with funeral arrangements for his Mom. 

But nada. 

I can barely get out of bed. I am up all night with insomnia because I cough or have an asthma attack every time I lay down and then sleep or drag during the next day. I am drinking fluids 24/7, I am on my 2nd round of antibiotics, and I am still not getting any better. I hate it. Most days I get up only to go to the doctor or drive the kids to a co-op class or an activity. We've been eating off paper plates for days now and the mail and the tax paperwork have been piling up dangerously high. (Not to mention all my mother in laws mail and estate paper work is coming to the house too.)

I don't feel like a Mom or a wife when I am so sick and can do nothing. I know I shouldn't judge myself by what I can do for my family, but the reality is, most of my children's memories involve Mommy "doing" something: baking, crafting, traveling, etc. Spending 8 hrs a day on Minecraft while Mommy is asleep or tossing and turning in bed is no fun for anyone. 

I am eternally grateful to Ms. Jody and the team at www.minecrafthomeschool.com - without their structure and guidance and class assignments I would have felt really guilty about letting them be on the computer so much. So far they've studied famous world monuments and the history of ship-making. It's their first experience on a multi-player server and they're learning a lot about game etiquette and learning to work with lots of other kids from all around the world. There are 120 kids just in their beginners class alone, aged 5 to 11. Though if your child is not a strong independent reader, I don't recommend it unless you have the time and energy to sit with them and read all the class materials and then sit and read the instructions and chats that come through on the screen. My two older ones have been great about helping the emerging reader get through the game, so I've just had to do the background reading aloud for him. There is quite a bit of reading to get through before each week starts.

Through this all, I am grateful that the pregnancy continues to go well. I've made my myriad appointments to specialists and ultrasounds and managing the gestational diabetes and everything they can see (without being invasive) is looking very good. There will be a new baby in the house in less than 7 weeks and I'm thinking I should probably order at least a crib and a car seat by then. 

A week ago, I started collecting materials for my daughter and me to assemble a Lenten centerpiece which we made several years ago and everyone missed in the years since. I thought it was the *one* thing I could get done to prepare for this Lenten season. A week later, we just got to start it today and we still need to buy a few more things to complete it. Slow is so hard for me....

St. David's Day cakes and celebration. Nope. Kings Cake for Mardi Gras. Nope. Though I'm thinking Pancakes for Dinner will be perfect for Shrove Tuesday.

Over the last two weeks I did manage to get two fun, volunteer projects done or at least mostly done. The daughter of a friend is taking an unpaid internship this summer at a local pro-life health center and almost didn't take it because of money reasons. (Which makes perfect sense, she needs to work during summers for the following fall's tuition.) I convinced her to set up a fundraising campaign on indiegogo and she has been busy, busy, busy setting it all up. It has turned out so well, and I am hoping that many pro-life folks will read it, spread the word about it, and contribute to her fundraising campaign. She is a wonderful young woman with a great big heart for women and children and I am glad I got to be a little part of her big, developing story. Her site will go "live" on Monday afternoon, so look for a big announcement from me that afternoon. 

It gives me great solace to think that like St. Therese who became patron saint of missionaries (though her illness and vocation kept her confined to her convent for life) that I might be able to help this young lady do wonderful, life saving work while confined by my illnesses and my vocation to bed and home. I hope you will join me in giving generously to her campaign, "Laura 4 Life".

The second little project I'm working on this week is getting ready to give a short presentation to a team of Mock Trial students on courtroom etiquette and a basic overview of opening and closing statements, direct and cross-exams, and hearsay and evidence, etc. The little bit of preparation I have done to feel prepared for my 30 minute talk has solidified that I was right to stop practicing law 12 years ago. Just that little bit of getting back into the minutia has confirmed that law was not the career for me. I wish I had figured that out before going to law school and taking on student loans, but I can't change that now.

Not just getting through but enjoying a bit again

A few things that brightened my week:

I like the new Mass translation fairly well. I especially like that it puts all the old-timers, the newer converts, and the children all at the same level again - everyone is searching their missalettes for the right new wording so they don't look out of place. I used to hate when it seemed like "everyone" knew just what to do and when I was always out of step. Now we all have to learn together again the fine tuned formal language of the new English translations. Thanks to Pope John Paul and Pope Benedict. It was a long time coming.

Grateful that my friend Lori brought her dog to get a coffee with me and walk around the block. I needed the fresh air and the distraction. The kids were at their TKA Enrichment class so it was all good.

The kids are still enjoying their singing lessons at Cantabile Youth Choir. Their end of year show is next week and they are excited to have their performance uniforms ready to go, down to the socks & shoes.

Grandma Ann over for dinner on Friday and hanging out with the kids. I made her salmon, broccoli, and brown rice which she said she liked. Sweetpea was really good at about sitting with her to make sure she would not try to stand up while I was in the kitchen or tending the baby. Glad Coach was here on Friday to help me unload her from the car into the wheelchair, and then into the living room recliner. She choked on a piece of broccoli and I was getting ready to Heimlich her and have Sweetpea dial 911 when she finally was able to cough it up. Scary moment. She's been having more of those recently. She enjoyed her icecream for dessert though. Grandma Ann said she was glad that she had moved her sewing machines out to California because she couldn't get anyone to take them so she is giving them to Sweetpea - which is perfect - since Sweetpea has been telling me she wants to learn how to sew. She's got Grandma's lucky & talented machines to help her now. The boys didn't interact too much with Grandma on Friday afternoon, unless you count running through the living room repeatedly with Lego fighter planes whizzing by.

Bill, the children, and I spent a great Saturday afternoon at their old school, the Waldorf School of the Peninsula's Annual Holiday Faire. The weather was gorgeous, the activities delightfully old-fashioned, gingerbread decorating, wreath making, live music, Father Christmas walking around hanging out gold coins, hot cider, a health lunch for sale, and ran into some old classmates and teachers and parents from when the kids went to preschool there up until 2 years ago. Sweetpea went for 1 year, Toto for 2 years, and Gordo for 1 year too. I hope that by the time Baby M gets old enough we'll be able to send him for a year or two also. It sets such a lovely tone to the home when the rhythym of the school day is so calming and nurturing. If I could find a Catholic homeschool co-op that was Waldorfy-inspired I'd sign the kids up in a heartbeat. The methodology and community building and inclusiveness that they inspire and create is seen nowhere else. I wish I could create that same feeling without their religion in it. Using Catholic ideas presented in a different media. Like an artist might use stone, wood, or paint. It would be amazing to prepare for Feast Days by needle felting images of Mary and Joseph and Jesus and baking bread for the children's baskets for their voyages through bible history. There's a curriculum in my head in there somewhere, I just don't think I'll manage to pull it all together until my kids are grown and out of the house. :( 

After lunch and crawling through the Gnome Winterland Cookie Adventure, the boys sat down for the serious work of decorating their gingerbread men cookies. Then they took a break on the playground with Dad, while Sweetpea and I made a beautiful wreath for the front door. 

After the kids got home from the Faire we ordered them pizza and one of the teen graduates from our homeschool group came over to babysit for us while Bill and I went to go see Maureen's newish husband play with the Nova Vista Symphony at the Church of the Ascension in Saratoga. The Church was kind of weird, very round and modern, no real altar or communion rail, and a risen Jesus on the cross which I thought was odd since it's supposed to be a crucifixion. I never did find where they hid the tabernacle - must have been behind the altar/stage. Maureen's husband Derek looked great in his tuxedo and is now the Prinicpal percussionist for this local volunteer symphony. They were joined by another local, volunteer group the San Jose Choir which did a wonderful job with the singing. I had seen another one of his performances last year and was really amazed with the level of performance for "amateurs." They certainly take their music and their preparation very seriously. I will have to get out to see them more often to support a nice non profit local symphony without big corporate sponsors.

Today, we got Grandma Ann rolling with us again to go see the Christmas Creche exhibit sponsored by the Mormon Church in Palo Alto. There were over 450 creches on display, representing countries all around the world. It was neat to see how the creche so aptly portrayed the culture and time it was made in. The artists used many different media: stone, marble, glass, ceramic, wood, metal, pottery, shells, river rock, driftwood, Legos, fimo modeling clay, yarn, stained glass, even a life size one you walked through and became part of the scene of. There was live Christmas music playing throughout too. It was nice to see that their promotional materials gave proper credit to St. Francis for developing the tradition of having a family creche. And also that they had a lot of traditional representations of Mary in art as well, including a Virgin of Guadalupe from Mexico. Which they just labeled "Mary" so I'm not sure if they exactly knew what they had there. Beautiful piece. I loved the Russian nesting dolls, the rounded figures of the Peruvian style, and the driftwood the best. Grandma Ann was especially delighted to see that there were several creches designed by artists from Tennessee.

Since we already have 5 sets, the kids think this is a good thing to start collecting. They make the perfect souvenir. In the Children's Room they had a craft table set up and a dress-up area where we staged our own family living creche, with our little baby partially stripped down and wrapped in swaddling clothes like Jesus. 

He kept looking up because he was mesmerized by the lights hanging from the ceiling like stars. Gordo of course had to be St. Joseph, since that was his Saint's Day costume, so Toto was a Shepherd. We wrapped Sweetpea in blue for a sweet smiling Mary, and Baby M filled in for Jesus. I didn't think of it till later but we should have rolled Grandma Ann into the picture since Jesus had a Grandma Ann, too!

We then dropped off Grandma Ann, and we drove Bill to the airport so he could catch his flight for this week's business trip. It's always hard when Dad's gone. But he should be back in time for the kids Cantabile Choir concert on Thursday so they are happy about that.

Afterwards, I braved going to the RP Homeschooling Group Cabana Christmas Potluck Party with all 4 kids alone. I survived, and I actually had some fun despite having to break up some fights between the boys and having a tired, cranky baby on my hands. Sweetpea and I especially enjoyed playing Catholic Jeopardy. She knew the format from having watched it on TV while she stayed at my Mom's for 10 days while we got the house ready for Grandma Ann. There's an on line version that she might enjoy. Once they're allowed screentime again. After all the bad behaviour caused by screen time lately, I am SO over wanting to get an ipad this year. Maybe next spring.

I got home safely with all 4 kids tucked into bed. Realized we had left the front door unlocked all day. Need to be more careful. Always unsettling when Bill's out of town. I don't know what I'd expect him to do, but knowing he's here, I feel more safe.

So tomorrow we start the new afternoon homeschool schedule the kids wanted to try. Which means I give up my afternoon quiet time/nap, but I get my mornings back to run errands, go shopping, and to the doctor and just get the house back in order for the day. We'll see how it goes. Our homeschooling is always a work in progress. As we all are. But at least this weekend ends with me more peaceful about the whole prospect and not frantically researching public school in our area or boarding schools who will accept 6 year olds! 

Bill is happy that I'm happier again, and it also helps that he keeps telling me I'm a good wife. I used to feel like a good wife and mother by being able to pull off and create things that looked like this:

While also weighing 40 lbs less and dressing a lot more feminine and less like a sherpa. But hopefully one day those days will come again. I just hope I'm young enough to still enjoy them and remember them. I baked and cut out this sugar cookie nativity creche and then handpainted Mary and Joseph, the 3 Wise Men bearing gifts, the star and the animals. I used coconut for the sheep's fur, and crushed whole shredded wheat cereal for the hay in the stable. Clearly, even 3 years ago, with one kid less, I had a lot more free time on my hands. 

Grandma IS the Lesson

Tonight I am remembering that old blog post titled " The Baby IS the Lesson " that so motivated me as I thought about how I would get through this homeschooling year with a new baby in the mix. And now there is a new lesson to be learned.

We are beginning a very emotional and difficult week....leading to a major transition for our family. Bill is picking up his mother in Mississippi this week, and driving her back to our home in California - a road trip he is expecting to take 4 to 6 days. We are converting our dining room into a bedroom for her, buying a bed, dealing with accessibility and toileting issues, etc. This is not really what we planned to be doing after just bringing home an infant this summer, but we know that it is the right thing to do for her and for our children.

As such, my ability to leave the house at all will be sharply curtailed for the time being as I incorporate another person into our household and my daily caretaking and housekeeping routines. We hope that once she is here and we can have her evaluated by a doctor that we can start looking at respite care or senior day care etc. so that my health does not deteriorate. All we can tell from here is that she has dementia and is incontinent and her facility is probably financially abusing her and not taking proper care of her.

Tomorrow morning I have my Remicade infusion so I will be down for a day or two. My mother has taken Sweetpea till Thanksgiving. We have asked Coach to come back part-time for the next few weeks to take care of the big boys until we can figure all this out.

Please pray for us. I never expected that God would give me two chances to protect the dignity of life from conception to natural end this year. But He has. And so I must.

How's the Meal Planning Going? Home Ec Wednesdays

After 3 weeks of homeschool, we've gotten into a pretty decent rhythm overall. The meal planning has helped tremendously. I don't have a very strict menu plan, but it's enough of a plan that I'm not freaking out every day at 5 pm. I try to serve 1 or 2 in-season vegetables with each meal, or sometimes 1 veg and 1 fruit. I serve brown rice, potatoes, noodles, or good dinner bread as a side as well.

It's still evolving, but this is what I have so far.

Monday - Beef - Meatloaf or Milanesas or Empanadas or Hamburgers

Tuesday - Chicken - Chicken Cacciatore, Chicken Marbella, Homemade Chicken Nuggets.

Wednesday - Beans and Rice (I set crock pot and rice cooker up before we leave for homeschool playgroup)

Thursday - Pasta - Some type of fresh or dry pasta, I alternate between Tomato Sauce or Pesto Sauce. (Pasta is the only thing I can handle this night since we have 2 back to back hours of choir practice from 4 to 6 pm) I always have an emergency frozen lasagna in the chest freezer now.

Friday - Fish - Two Standbys - White fish with butter and onion, or Salmon marinated in Soy Vey Teriyaki.

Saturday - Sometimes go out to eat, or Pizza night, homemade or at least baked at home

Sunday - special, more complicated recipe, usually done by Dad, usually Pork or Chicken. Roast pork tenderoin or bar b que pulled pork or roast chicken with lemon and thyme or some such basic thing. Something that can cook unattended for an hour or so while we are hanging out around the house after Mass. 

It has been calming to have a plan, sketchy as it is. Eventually, I'd like to have it written up and more seasonal, but for late summer/fall, this is working just fine.

Yum!

This little piggie...

Mr. J had volunteered to roast a pig for our local history museum's fundraising luau. Seeing as how he had no idea how to do this, I called in the big guns. Our own team of Argentine asadores. Here they are prepping the pig for roasting in our backyard.

Six hours later, the pig was perfectly roasted. We moved it onto a foil covered piece of plywood and then rolled it down the street to our neighbor's house on a kids ' radio flyer red wagon. It was quite a sight. People stopped to pose and take pictures with the pig. It was delicious and the Museum made some money. But we're not volunteering for this job again any time to soon. It was 12 hours from beginning to end.