Sunday, March 2, 2014

New Year, Here I am

Wow, it's been so long since I posted on the blog that I have forgotten what font I typically use...

I remain in awe of all the homeschooling bloggers who were able to keep up with Jen's blog-a-day-for-a-whole-week challenge. Not around here, that's for sure. I think the chronically ill, pregnant at 45, homeschooling mother version should be blog once-a-month for 7 months straight! Now, that would be a challenge I might meet.

Since I posted last time at the beginning on December, I had to abandon the Three Kings Link-Up since I was too sick to set them up each night, and the kids were too sick to care. I had to cancel our typical Christmas Eve Fondue Dinner, and instead some kind friends invited us over for dinner, and after 2 hours we had gotten our fill of Christmas cheer and were ready to come on home. My parents and brother and his family came over for dinner on Christmas Day, and despite having planned an elaborate and traditional dinner we had to settle for Honey Baked Ham and deli-ordered Caneloni. Which was delicious, but it wasn't what I had aspired to certainly.

I felt a little better on New Year's Eve, so I made the Fondue that night and also created a Scavenger Hunt for the kids which they enjoyed.  By mid-January I was officially over my several week long Sinus Infection and I was jumping for joy and full of energy. I took advantage of the energy and did things that I don't normally do with the kids, like take them to the movies by myself, or check out a new park. I was starting to feel like a normal Mom for a bit. I was on fire and started volunteering to do a few things here and there, and was finally even keeping up with paperwork and taxes around here.

On February 11th I had my most recent Remicade infusion, just hours later my mother in law died in the early morning hours of February 12th while my husband was on a plane on his way back from India, we slept through Valentine's Day and my husband's birthday on the 19th, so it came as no surprise that within a week the entire family was sick again (some worse than others) and lo and behold! I have another sinus infection. Everyone else is better already, just that nagging cough left in a few of them, but here I am, still sick and tired.

I have been very depressed about it for the last 10 days. I had so many big plans for Lent and Easter, inaugurating our finally finished pool this spring, and, of course, helping my husband with funeral arrangements for his Mom. 

But nada

I can barely get out of bed. I am up all night with insomnia because I cough or have an asthma attack every time I lay down and then sleep or drag during the next day. I am drinking fluids 24/7, I am on my 2nd round of antibiotics, and I am still not getting any better. I hate it. Most days I get up only to go to the doctor or drive the kids to a co-op class or an activity. We've been eating off paper plates for days now and the mail and the tax paperwork have been piling up dangerously high. (Not to mention all my mother in laws mail and estate paper work is coming to the house too.)

I don't feel like a Mom or a wife when I am so sick and can do nothing. I know I shouldn't judge myself by what I can do for my family, but the reality is, most of my children's memories involve Mommy "doing" something: baking, crafting, traveling, etc. Spending 8 hrs a day on Minecraft while Mommy is asleep or tossing and turning in bed is no fun for anyone. 

I am eternally grateful to Ms. Jody and the team at - without their structure and guidance and class assignments I would have felt really guilty about letting them be on the computer so much. So far they've studied famous world monuments and the history of ship-making. It's their first experience on a multi-player server and they're learning a lot about game etiquette and learning to work with lots of other kids from all around the world. There are 120 kids just in their beginners class alone, aged 5 to 11. Though if your child is not a strong independent reader, I don't recommend it unless you have the time and energy to sit with them and read all the class materials and then sit and read the instructions and chats that come through on the screen. My two older ones have been great about helping the emerging reader get through the game, so I've just had to do the background reading aloud for him. There is quite a bit of reading to get through before each week starts.

Through this all, I am grateful that the pregnancy continues to go well. I've made my myriad appointments to specialists and ultrasounds and managing the gestational diabetes and everything they can see (without being invasive) is looking very good. There will be a new baby in the house in less than 7 weeks and I'm thinking I should probably order at least a crib and a car seat by then. 

A week ago, I started collecting materials for my daughter and me to assemble a Lenten centerpiece which we made several years ago and everyone missed in the years since. I thought it was the *one* thing I could get done to prepare for this Lenten season. A week later, we just got to start it today and we still need to buy a few more things to complete it. Slow is so hard for me....

St. David's Day cakes and celebration. Nope. Kings Cake for Mardi Gras. Nope. Though I'm thinking Pancakes for Dinner will be perfect for Shrove Tuesday.

Over the last two weeks I did manage to get two fun, volunteer projects done or at least mostly done. The daughter of a friend is taking an unpaid internship this summer at a local pro-life health center and almost didn't take it because of money reasons. (Which makes perfect sense, she needs to work during summers for the following fall's tuition.) I convinced her to set up a fundraising campaign on indiegogo and she has been busy, busy, busy setting it all up. It has turned out so well, and I am hoping that many pro-life folks will read it, spread the word about it, and contribute to her fundraising campaign. She is a wonderful young woman with a great big heart for women and children and I am glad I got to be a little part of her big, developing story. Her site will go "live" on Monday afternoon, so look for a big announcement from me that afternoon. 

It gives me great solace to think that like St. Therese who became patron saint of missionaries (though her illness and vocation kept her confined to her convent for life) that I might be able to help this young lady do wonderful, life saving work while confined by my illnesses and my vocation to bed and home. I hope you will join me in giving generously to her campaign, "Laura 4 Life".

The second little project I'm working on this week is getting ready to give a short presentation to a team of Mock Trial students on courtroom etiquette and a basic overview of opening and closing statements, direct and cross-exams, and hearsay and evidence, etc. The little bit of preparation I have done to feel prepared for my 30 minute talk has solidified that I was right to stop practicing law 12 years ago. Just that little bit of getting back into the minutia has confirmed that law was not the career for me. I wish I had figured that out before going to law school and taking on student loans, but I can't change that now.

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